Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
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