currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
