I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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