she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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