I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
