you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
