Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
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Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
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Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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