The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
