hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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