Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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