Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
