I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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