New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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