Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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