ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
