hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize