do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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