Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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