I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
