...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just cut my nipple shaving
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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