Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
