Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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