spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
