In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I cut my penus on the lid.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Im part way to drunk.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize
