There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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