I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
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She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
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I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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