i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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