Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize