it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
