i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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