I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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