I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
