This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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