the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize