I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
