We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
