New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
