i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
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