The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
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They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
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My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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