Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize