i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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