Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
