No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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