I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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