please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
