Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
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she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
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Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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