He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
