You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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