I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize