hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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