mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
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