my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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