i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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