i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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