Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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