Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
