Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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