um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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