Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
