So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
