just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
they need to just BURY HIM!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
