Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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