Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
