Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
