Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
