***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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