I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
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Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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