Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
why is half of my head shaved?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
