the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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