fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
