I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
