she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
